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10,000 and counting

This weekend saw the return of the Bute Highland Games, a wonderful community occasion made all the more special this year both for the fact that it was the first time back since COVID, and that the weather actually saw fit to behave itself this time around. I took part in the 10,000-metre road race, something I have been wanting to do ever since we moved to the island and my first ever participation in any kind of sporting competition. It was tough – I’m used to running first thing in the morning when the weather conditions are always cooler – but I was enormously pleased with my finishing time of 55:55, which placed me fifth out of sixteen in my age and gender category and 21st out of 54 women over the line.

Photo by my mum!

I hesitated over whether to post about this – it has nothing to do with writing, at least not directly, and talking in public about personal issues does not always come naturally to me – but then I thought what I have to say might encourage others, and therefore be valuable.

My running means a great deal to me and brings me much joy. It kept me sane during the pandemic – the one time of day when everything felt normal was when I was outside first thing, running along the coast road whatever the weather, listening to my music and feeling especially aware of my body as a living organism. Early on in the terrible conflict in Ukraine, I read about a group of older runners in Kyiv who see their daily outing as an act of solidarity with their fellows, an insistence that they exist and remain defiant. I often think of them as I run, wonder how they are getting on. Problems and questions that have arisen with my writing flow through my mind, and are often unravelled, seemingly without effort on my part.

Above all, the weather, the landscape, the feel and smell and taste of the open air. These grounding things, these precious things – to have this sense of freedom as a daily tonic is not so much a commitment as a necessity.

The point is, when I started school it was simply assumed that because I was visually impaired I would never be able to take part in sport. It didn’t seem to matter – I was doing well academically, so no biggie, and I never expressed any particular regret or worry over this cordoned-off area of the curriculum. Any half-hearted attempts to involve me in PE ended pretty dismally. Of course they did, because most of what was on offer were team sports, ball games needing a high degree of hand-eye coordination, and one of the weird things about my sight is that I don’t have binocular vision – pretty crucial for depth perception, and judging distances at speed. (Anyone who’s ever been with me at a convention and noticed me testing the edge of an ‘alien’ step with my toe before I go down it? This is why.)

I did swim well from an early age, though, and – oddly not oddly – I was one of the few who did not react with abject horror when told we were off for a cross-country run. I always had good breath control, and what I now recognise as good core strength and stamina. None of these things were noticed, or encouraged. I am not blaming anyone – I went to school in the 1970s, they did things differently there – but nonetheless I think it’s important for me to say it, in case anyone reading this has similarly been made to believe they have no sporting aptitude, or ‘can’t’ do something because they have a disability.

From my own experience, it is not a matter of can’t; it is simply a question of discovering which sport or activity best suits your particular abilities, and your passion.

Perhaps counter-intuitively, I have always enjoyed watching sport on TV. I was heavily invested in the Hunt-Lauda rivalry in Formula 1 back in the day. I started watching and loving Wimbledon when Borg, Connors, Wade and McEnroe were all still young. I vividly remember the excitement of watching my first Olympics – Montreal, 1976: Nadia Comaneci, Lasse Viren. I watched one hell of a lot of Champions’ League football matches through the 1990s. But it wasn’t until the 2000 Olympics in Sydney that something clicked personally, for me. Watching the Romanian athlete Gabi Szabo win gold in the 5,000 metres, something about this tiny, steel-nerved blonde woman and her famous sprint finish spoke to me, inspired me, reminded me that wasn’t running something I had always wanted to try but felt was out of bounds?

I decided that there was literally no reason it should be out of bounds, and started from there, running around the block in an old pair of Adidas trainers and feeling vaguely embarrassed. The embarrassment stopped after about a fortnight, as I began to build up my staying power. I have run in fits and starts ever since, though it did not become a daily habit until we moved to the island. With a course that is safe and free of traffic and has start-to-finish views of the Firth of Clyde, how could it not?

I spend many hours of every day sitting at my desk. The practice of writing calls for stamina of a different kind – the ability to sit with an idea until it becomes something, to keep faith with my work even when it feels flat, or disorganised, or beyond my control. It can be mentally exhausting and occasionally dispiriting. To be able to get outside, to let my mind unclench itself – I can honestly say that taking up running has benefited every aspect of my life, both my physical and mental wellbeing. It offers a rest from the intensity of writing, as well as a spur to it.

Running is my hobby, the thing I do for myself alone and with no other aim in view than to enjoy the experience. I’m not at all competitive about it, and that is part of the joy. But can I beat my own time next year? If I weren’t already wondering about that, I wouldn’t be me.

Get well soon

“Literature is self-validating. That is to say, a book is not justified by its author’s worthiness to write it, but by the quality of what has been done.”

Salman Rushdie

In this stunning and prescient essay for the London Review of Books from 1982, Rushdie reminds us – if reminder were needed – how even at the start of his career he was already preoccupied with themes of identity, aesthetics, culture, the transformative power of the imagination and above all freedom of expression. We are so lucky to have him still with us. Everyone’s writing about Rushdie at the moment and that’s not surprising but what we are waiting for, really, is to hear from him again. Opinionated, fearless, controversial – writers like Rushdie are increasingly rare. If the past days have shown us anything, it is that voices such as his are more necessary and more valuable than ever.

Cat Brushing by Jane Campbell

Ageing is often presented as an accumulation, of disease, of discomforts, of wrinkles, but it is really a process of dispossession, of rights, of respect, of desire, of all those things you once so casually owned and enjoyed.

So reflects the narrator of ‘Cat Brushing’, the titular story of Jane Campbell’s original, engaging and important collection, out today.

In ‘Cat Brushing’, first published in the London Review of Books in 2017, a retired teacher now living with her son and daughter-in-law feels a bond with her Siamese cat that is a kind of spiritual twinning: the cat is getting on in years now but still feisty, still independent-minded. She enjoys praise and comfort but not at the expense of her personal autonomy. When the cat’s presence in her life is threatened, the story’s narrator senses a further forced reduction in her own sense of self:

So in the absence of being able to please I try to be useful. And not disgusting. The cat got sick yesterday. She does sometimes. She hunts, she has always hunted, but is, I feel, less successful than she used to be. There it is again, the loss. She catches the slower prey, and eats bits of it and it may already be ill or diseased.

At the heart of each of the thirteen stories in Cat Brushing is an older woman. Some of these women, like the narrator of the title story, have been forced from their own environments into hostile domains. Others have so far escaped the attention of controlling relatives or concerned neighbours, determined to preserve their independence or to stake a new-found happiness on one final and possibly ill-advised throw of the dice.

The subject matter of these stories – ageing, dependency, loss, abuse, regret – is of the kind that will no doubt tempt some critics to describe this collection as ‘heartbreaking’. But while it is true that more than a couple of Campbell’s intensely private, thoughtful tales brought tears to my eyes, I am much more inclined to characterise her work as defiant, subversive, intelligent and singularly empowering. Even in their forgetfulness and physical frailty, Campbell’s women are garrulous, insightful and occasionally duplicitous. They never fail to retain agency over their own lives, even when that agency drives them, ultimately, to refuse what is on offer.

Stories such as ‘Susan and Miffy’ and ‘Lamia’ show older women in active possession of a vibrant sexuality. ‘The Scratch’ and ‘The Kiskadee’ touch on themes of abuse and control, but there are no neat answers, no tidy conclusions as Campbell opts for ambiguity rather than moral outrage. In ‘183 Minutes’, a story that might equally have been dreamed up by Ruth Rendell, the protagonist experiences a stark premonition of her own destruction yet still finds the hope of happiness trumping the fear of risk:

And she turned her face towards the window for she wanted to see if there was a reflection there of the woman she had suddenly become. But in the anonymity of the rushing fields she saw only her body dumped in an alley, at the bottom of a cliff, down a well, and then they flew under a bridge and against the momentary blackness she saw her face again.

Rather than taking refuge in the past, these characters are inhabitants of the modern world, equipped to deal with any challenges the future may hold. In ‘Lockdown Fantasms’, Campbell takes issue with the way older people have been further marginalised and forgotten during the COVID-19 pandemic, the key decisions about their ‘wellbeing’ taken by others. Social media and the metaverse in this story are magical, life-saving resources; in ‘Schopenhauer and I’ the reverse is true, with digital companionship used as a cover for surveillance and control.

How refreshing it is, to meet characters who are not careful about how they express themselves, who say what they think with relish and a crooked smile. The language of Cat Brushing, while spare and unadorned, is never simple. Literary allusions and philosophical experiment take their place alongside landscape writing that is richly imaginative and resonant, where a longing for lost realities is always tempered by mordant wit. The final story in the collection, ‘On Being Alone’, references Chekhov, and in its accretion of significant detail, its elegiac quality it has a distinctly Chekhovian melancholy about it:

As a child I already knew that I needed, craved, bathed myself in solitude. Being alone was my best place. As I grew through my teens I began to understand it better. I narrowed it down to a fear of belonging. Belonging to me meant losing something. not gaining anything. Losing individuality, losing, dare I say, specialness. I was a secretive and isolated child and I feared being identified with any other child as some people might fear the plague.

As so often in Chekhov, you don’t end up where you think you will. The past number of years have seen important conversations taking place not just about representation in literature but about who is doing the representing. While I would staunchly argue that one of the key skills of the fiction writer is imaginative empathy, that for the writer prepared to undertake the creative groundwork, no identity or set of experiences should be out of bounds, it seems equally important that in the portrayal of particular histories, experiences and worldviews we should amplify and pay attention to writers with first-hand knowledge of those situations and communities.

The increasing diversity of our prize shortlists and publishing schedules is both exciting and timely. How discouraging it is then, to see the matter of age so often excluded from these vital discussions, to see writers actively debarred from ‘first novel’ or ‘new writer’ awards or grant applications simply on the grounds of being over forty. On social media especially the increasing tendency is to tell older writers to shut up.

Age is not only the last taboo, it seems, but the last acceptable breeding ground for prejudice as well. For women especially, pressures relating to family and other gender-based expectations have often been contributory factors in narrowing down or closing off routes to publication. I have lost count of the number of post-war women writers I have come across in my reading and research whose careers have stalled or floundered, not through any lack of talent but through lack of opportunity or recognition.

All of which makes a collection like Cat Brushing doubly important. In their power and persuasiveness, their wily transgressions, their willingness to take risks, Jane Campbell’s stories reveal a reality that is relevant to all of us and too often ignored.

Mid-Year Book Freakout tag

As I have mentioned here before, one of my biggest downtime pleasures is watching Booktube videos. Sharing in the expression of love and knowledgeable enthusiasm for books is a joy in itself, and I have particularly come to enjoy the way the cyclical recurrence of certain tags and list videos have come to take the form of a literary calendar, mapping out the bookish year with reactions to book prize longlists, anticipated releases and what progress – if any – has been made in the meeting of reading goals.

Let me say from the outset that my own reading goals have been shot to shit. There is a genuine reason for this – the house move – but I still feel disappointed that my Cloak and Dagger reading challenge, so carefully curated, is now so far off schedule that there is little hope of my catching up, especially as I have taken on a couple of extra non-fiction side-projects in the meantime.

Rather than despair over this – because come on – and because I like the challenge so much I have decided to defer it to 2023, when I will begin the whole thing again from scratch. So far as this year is concerned, I intend to read whatever the hell takes my fancy. Given that I have so much research reading to do on top of my other commitments, I know I will have to keep my expectations in check. But it does lift my heart to think that we are only halfway through the year, and that there are more books yet to be read that I don’t yet know about.

In anticipation of that, I thought I would post my own responses to the mid-year book freakout tag, because I have been freaking out, just a bit, and because it’s an interesting way of taking the literary temperature of my year to date.

  1. BEST BOOK YOU’VE READ SO FAR IN 2022 would have to be Optic Nerve, by Maria Gainza. This book was exactly what I needed to read at the particular moment I read it, and I will be following Gainza’s literary journey from here on in.
  2. BEST SEQUEL YOU’VE READ SO FAR IN 2022. I’ll have to cheat a little with this one, as I don’t think the author would necessarily want to see this book described as a sequel, but if we can include in that category books with characters we first met in an earlier novel then it’s definitely Sea of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel. Those who read and adored The Glass Hotel, as I did, will enjoy hunting down those Easter eggs. But there’s no need for you to have read Mandel’s previous novel to enjoy this one, which is searching, original, moving and gorgeously achieved. I loved it from the first page.
  3. NEW RELEASE YOU HAVEN’T READ YET, BUT WANT TO. Oh my goodness, there are so many – some languishing here on my desk. For the sake of keeping this short, I shall confine myself to two. John Darnielle’s Devil House is a must for me, firstly because I have loved his previous two books and secondly because I am excited to see what he’s done with a fake-true-crime narrative. And then I have been hearing very good things about Hernan Diaz’s Trust. I have read the preview and found it irresistible, and the metafictional ‘found document’ format is very much my bag.
  4. MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE YEAR. Once again, I shall confine myself to two. The first is Babysitter, by Joyce Carol Oates. I’m a huge Oates fan in any case, and here she is with an imaginative retelling of a true crime story. Cannot miss it. And secondly there’s The Furrows, from Namwali Serpell. Her Clarke-winning debut The Old Drift is a book I still think about a lot, both for its astounding writing and its treatment of time. The Furrows sounds every bit as intriguing.
  5. BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT. I have been lucky this year in that the books I have actively sought out have been sustaining and each in their own way worthwhile. My experience with review assignments has been more mixed. Shall I just say that I think I am burned out on what I shall loosely term the ‘soft dystopia’? It is fascinating, how many books in this genre are debuts. There are conclusions to be drawn there, no doubt.
  6. BIGGEST SURPRISE. The Pale Horse by Agatha Christie. I very much enjoyed Sarah Phelps’s BBC adaptation and what with Laura Thompson’s lovely biography Agatha Christie: An English Mystery acting as my sanity blanket through the book-packing process, I thought I would try out the novel, a late work by Christie and one I had never even heard of before seeing the TV series. I was surprised and delighted by how solidly crafted it is, how modern it feels. In terms of her sentence-level achievement, Christie often gets a bad press, one I found myself feeling – as I have on previous occasions – is undeserved.
  7. FAVOURITE NEW AUTHOR – DEBUT OR NEW TO YOU. Once again, that would have to be Maria Gainza.
  8. BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY. To Paradise, by Hanya Yanagihara. Given the discomfiting and unstable nature of the year to date, it already seems like ages since I read this, but I thought it was magnificent – a powerful and fearless examination of the problems we face as a society and as individuals, written by an author one-hundred percent in control of her material. I would definitely read it again. Ysnagihara has quickly become the kind of author that makes you insatiably curious about where she will go next.
  9. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOOK YOU’VE BOUGHT SO FAR THIS YEAR would also count as the most expensive! I am not going to name it, because it is the key primary source text for my novel-in-progress, but I will say that it dates from the 1950s, and is signed and dated by the author. Its beauty is tied up in its provenance, and the way it brings the events it described so vividly to life.
  10. WHAT BOOKS DO YOU NEED TO READ BY THE END OF THE YEAR? Many, many books. For reasons similar to those that prompted my Golding binge last year, I will be re-immersing myself in J.G. Ballard’s three key disaster novels. Off at only a slight tangent, I am lucky enough to have in my possession an ARC of Martin MacInnes’s new novel In Ascension, which I absolutely intend to get to before the year is out. One of my most anticipated reads of last year was Speak, Silence, Carole Angier’s investigative biography of W. G. Sebald. I actually began reading this the week before we moved out of our previous house and was instantly smitten. I had the book with me all the time we were in temporary accommodation, but was too tired and preoccupied to give it the full attention it so obviously deserves. I expect to be back in Sebald’s world before the end of summer.

Home II

My new office is the perfect size, by which I mean perfect for me.

The office I had in our previous home was just that little bit too small. Most of my books had to be housed elsewhere in our home, a fact that was somewhat made up for by my magnificent view of the firth and of the ferry terminal, but it gave the room a feeling of incompleteness, and led to the annoying side-effect of having thirty to forty books piled up either side of my computer at any one time.

For someone who prefers their surroundings to have a semblance of order, this was not ideal. The office I had before that, in Devon, had room for my books, which blanketed the back wall like a layer of secondary insulation, but as a space was even smaller, almost a box room. The office I had in Hastings had the opposite problem – it felt too big. I like rooms that feel like burrows, enclosing and human-sized. The large, high-ceilinged rooms of our previous, Georgian home always felt overwhelming to me, as if I were a guest in them, or simply camped out. I never felt we properly owned that house, or ever could.

There is a rightness to my new office that makes it seem like the room I have been waiting to discover all my writing life. From my desk, which is immediately inside the doorway as you come in, I can see the firth, the ferry – more distant now as it ploughs its way to and from the harbour but still present, still essential, still ours – the Cowal hills beyond. My books fill the wall opposite and half of the wall that abuts it, and there is room for them all. Our bookshelves were made for us by a local carpenter. We had them dismantled so we could bring them with us from our previous home, in the first instance because we could not bear to part with them, though as it turns out the escalating price of timber means we would not have been able to afford to replace them, had we left them behind. Lucky.

My office is a warm mustard-yellow, the colour of gorse. It has crept up on me over the years, that yellow is my favourite colour for rooms. I feel enclosed, protected, energised. Warmed by the sun, through even the bleakest of Scottish winter days.

During the twenty years I spent working in retail, I was always aware that in order to write it was essential for me to have the kind of day-job where I could clock off at the end of my shift and not have to think about the work, at all, when I wasn’t there. This inevitably meant low pay, but the up-side – the essential up-side – was freedom of thought. During these past ten weeks of arranging our move and project-managing the renovation of our new house, it has been brought home to me, with bells on, how correct I had always been in this instinctive assumption. The move was timely and right. Giving the house an overhaul has been a landmark experience, a labour of love. But for the life of the mind it has been crushing, and uniquely stressful. The more or less absolute inability to think about anything else – an experience I have been referring to as ‘brain-wipe’ – has taken its toll on me and on those around me.

Thankfully, this mental burden has been lifted. Just a week after moving in, I find myself back at my desk, picking up not where I left off, exactly, but somewhere close to it. The work feels exciting, re-invigorated, above all, possible. Given the state of the wider world, there have been moments these past months when I have found myself wondering if it was in fact possible, if there was a point to it – the kind of feelings I have been lucky enough, for many, many years, to have entirely escaped.

To have felt them again, even for a day or two, has reminded me of what is at stake, if not for me then for thousands of others, daily, hourly.

While I can, I will. While we can, we must.

Thank you for being here. Reading, writing, thinking – it’s who we are.

Home

We moved into our new home on Thursday. In the two days since we’ve been here, we have spent the majority of our time unpacking books. Books on shelves mean we are settling in. We have a little way to go still, but in essence, our move is complete. The cats, who endured their six weeks of indoor living with patience and grace, have begun to get acquainted with their new territory.

Shortly after we moved north to Scotland I wrote a piece for a magazine enumerating the various house moves I have made during my life. From memory, there have been more than twenty in total, a tally that still feels vertiginous to me, a catalogue of displacement and disruption. This particular move has been easier in some ways – we are, in a sense, still in the same place, still on familiar ground – but in others it has seemed all-consuming, exhausting, seminal.

I am sitting in my new office, looking out at the Firth of Clyde. It is a gentle, pale blue evening. I am so glad to be home.

Well, that was unexpected

We have moved house. Or rather, we find ourselves between houses, in temporary accommodation while we do work to the house we have just bought, two miles down the road from the house we just sold, smaller in scale but already, for me at any rate, larger in the imagination.

We were very happy in the house we have now left. This was the house that brought us to the island, the house that sheltered us through lockdown and that features, in various guises, in several of our novels. The decision to sell it was difficult and arrived at only gradually, founded upon the fact that the house was too big and too expensive for us to maintain, that its unsuitability would only increase with the passage of years.

The past six weeks have seen us undergoing all the familiar, unavoidable, anxiety-inducing accompaniments to moving house: the sense of disjuncture, the inevitably upsetting process of dismantling a home and the queasy feeling of unreality that comes in its wake. There has also been the intensely practical problem of downsizing our library of books, CDs and DVDs. It has been incredibly important to us that they find their way into the hands of readers and listeners who will appreciate them, which has meant several trips into Glasgow in order to donate them. I am terribly glad we did this, but it has, in the midst of the numerous other chores and missions of madness, been exhausting.

Keeping me sane through the whole process has been Laura Thompson’s unusually candid and spontaneous biography of England’s most famous crime writer, Agatha Christie: An English Mystery. I am sure there will be those who find Thompson’s approach too open, too opinionated and too personal, but Thompson’s singular willingness to put her own heart and soul on the line has been precisely what I like and admire about the book, a hefty volume that nonetheless has been stimulating and thought-provoking through the whole of its length, and that I have always felt eager and grateful to return to at the end of another tiring day.

Now begins the process of building back up. I love our new home. I feel especially lucky to have retained my cherished view of the Firth of Clyde, albeit from a different angle. I cannot wait for us to move in properly, to get back to work. My current work-in-progress seems like a distant, unfamiliar land. I will need to reacquaint myself with it. I know there will be changes, because I have changed. I look forward to finding out exactly where I have arrived.

Eyes Wide Open: Optic Nerve by Maria Gainza

When earlier in the week I read Johanna Thomas-Corr’s excellent review in the Guardian of Maria Gainza’s new novel Portrait of an Unknown Lady, I was reminded that I never had caught up with Gainza’s first novel Optic Nerve, published in its original Spanish in 2014 and then latterly in an English translation by Thomas Bunstead in 2019. I remember reading reviews of it, noting it down in my ever-expanding ‘of interest’ file. I even remember, quite clearly, holding a copy of the book in my hand. I was in a big Waterstones somewhere – either Chris or I, I cannot recall now which of us it was, had been asked to come in and sign some books. I remember trying to decide between Optic Nerve and Laura Cuming’s elegantly articulated memoir On Chapel Sands, both books, coincidentally, with a central focus on art.

In the end I chose the Cuming, promising myself I would acquire the Gainza at a later date. But I never did. That morning, its details blurry, feels far away, on the other side of an unspeakable divide, with those books two of the sparsely connecting threads between then and now. Reading Thomas-Corr’s admiring retrospective words about Optic Nerve, I experienced a sudden and intense hunger for it, for that book precisely, no other would do. Not even wanting to wait the time it would take to arrive in physical form, I downloaded it in e-format and started to read it more or less immediately.

Novels by nearest and dearest aside, Maria Gainza’s Optic Nerve – or so it feels to me in this moment – is the most beautiful book I have ever read. ‘It was clear that Gainza, like British authors Rachel Cusk and Claire-Louise Bennett, was opening up new possibilities for the novel as a place of freedom,’ Thomas-Corr writes in her review, ‘where you could blend fiction, memoir, art history and anecdote. She immediately felt like a thrilling discovery.’ I agree with this totally. I agree also with her additional claim that Gainza’s fiction actually ‘has more in common with Roberto Bolaño’s, with its themes of art and infamy, craft and theft.’ There is, as Thomas-Corr maintains, a Bolano-esque depth of field to her ‘stories within stories, each with its own melancholy mood and unsolvable mystery.’

And there is something more, something still greater, a quality of emotional admission, of inclusivity and of risk-taking, of personal involvement – of vulnerability even – that reminds me of the stories and writing of Mariana Enriquez, a passion that dares to reveal, to expose the self in a way that others have not, and that includes myself.

I can say only that I am thinking on this, wondering and struggling with how to address it. I am getting to know the paintings Gainza writes about in Optic Nerve, studying them in detail, reliving the moments of their discovery through the filter of Gainza’s tapestried language, of a knowledge profoundly felt and acutely described.

I am saving Maria Gainza’s new book for the moment, as something to look forward to. To cherish and to rejoice in. We need voices like these, above all, voices that remind us of all that life and art can be and what it is for.

A Season in Null-Space: Transit by Rachel Cusk

A book such as Julian’s was far more palatable. It always surprised him, how people lapped it up, extremity, how eager they were to consume what lay far outside the compass of their own experience, their relish for it if anything increased by the absence of the very thing, he, Louis, was abjured for removing – the screen of fiction. People believed that Julian didn’t need to make things up because the extremity of his experiences was such that it released him from that obligation.

Working on my current manuscript, I have been thinking a great deal about the weight we attach to ‘true’ narratives, and how objective truth might be said to differ from experiential truth.

If I say: ‘This happened to me’, is that enough to prove that it really did?

Since 2016, our experience of the world has become fragmentary and unstable, no longer measured in years, but in seasons, weeks and days. As a writer I feel I have become less capable and less desirous of constructing grand illusions. I have instead become obsessed with small details, with exploring the imaginative potential in day-by-day, sometimes minute-by-minute experience, with tracking the potential answers to the question: what really happened? My growing interest in true-crime narratives is both a response to and a driver of this. And precisely because much of the drama of such narratives lies in the mundane.

‘I don’t really believe in character,’ says Rachel Cusk in a recent podcast conversation with Sheila Heti, ‘I believe in moments of truth.’ In the second instalment of her Outline trilogy, Cusk demonstrates how the quotidian, when fully inhabited, can spiral outwards into a poetic hyperrealism, into the fire of language. How daily reality is never banal, but rather the greyish-brown outer crust of the entire luminosity of existence. The dinner party that forms the climax of the novel is, in its own subversive way, as revelatory and as disturbing as the family get-together that forms the subject of Thomas Vinterberg’s seminal 1998 movie Festen. Reading this book, in which ostensibly dull things happen in such a way as to make them seem life-defining, is to see reality, elusive as the leopard, changing its spots before our eyes.

Cusk’s writing truly is superlative. She has not only raised the bar for British literary fiction, she has opened up a new arena for the discussion and contemplation of what fiction is, and how it works.

*

Meanwhile and elsewhere, this marvellous essay by Ukrainian-American poet Ilya Kaminsky articulates brilliantly the shock, terror and heartbreak of these anxious days.

Cloak and Dagger 2/18 – Neo Noir: Sunset City by Melissa Ginsburg

Although she has pulled away from the self-destructive behaviour patterns of her early twenties, Charlotte has not yet discovered her true direction in life. She is at that awkward stage: filling in time, working as a barista and waiting for something to happen. When a once-beloved childhood friend gets back in contact suddenly, Charlotte is cautious about renewing the relationship. Danielle was important to her – as close as a sister – but when she lost herself in heroin addiction, Charlotte felt forced to distance herself. When she meets up with Danielle for a drink, she begins to feel more hopeful. Her friend has finally kicked the heroin, and seems in a much better place generally. Could be things have changed for the better, after all.

But less than a week later, Danielle is found brutally murdered in a motel room. Charlotte is shattered. She cannot help asking herself if she might have triggered something – if Danielle’s murder might in some mysterious way be her fault. As the police investigation gets underway, Charlotte wonders who stood to profit by her friend’s death: her estranged mother, Sally, her pornographer boyfriend, Brandon, or someone else entirely, someone from the past Charlotte doesn’t even know about. Her friend’s death has raised demons – not least her own grief. And as with any mystery, there are some questions it might be better not to learn the answers to.

Melissa Ginsburg is a published poet, and her awareness and love of language is a defining feature of this, her first novel, an economical and neatly wrought piece of Texas noir from 2016. As fully befits more modern iterations of the genre, she has some fun reversing and reinventing classic noir conventions: men, for the most part, take secondary roles. Centre stage belongs to the women, and so do the drug and alcohol problems. There is a detective – the suitably rugged and likeable Ash – but he always seems to be one step behind the action, as Charlotte’s deeper, sometimes disturbingly intimate knowledge of the suspects in this case bring her closer both to the truth and to personal danger.

The action I would describe as intense rather than fast-paced, although there are moments of violence and genuine tension, and enough surprises to keep trad noir fans happy. The plot is well thought out, coming together in a way that is satisfying and without any of the eleventh-hour stupidity that so vexes me in generic crime fiction. I warmed to these characters, even when I found myself completely at odds with what they were doing – and that is entirely down to Ginsburg’s skill in characterisation, her obvious sympathy with the situations she is describing. Above all I would praise her sense of place. As in all the greatest noir, this is a novel of the city – of urban grime, debauched glamour and moral ambivalence, and if Sunset City belongs to anyone it is to Houston, Texas. Ginsburg finds poetry in the most mundane of subject matter, in small details and moments and sensory impressions lesser writers might skip over or simply not notice.

A short book, but an impressive one, and in spite of the horror at its heart, moving and humane.

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